“The injury which comes from verbal and emotional abuse is probably one of the most serious conditions we are left with...Unlike physical wounds, which hurt us on the outside, verbal and emotional wounds go to the deepest parts of us. Any physical wound going so deep would be fatal, and left untreated long enough, prolonged verbal or emotional abuse can also be fatal. ” ~ Aames, Out of the Fog (source below).
David Rucki has been portrayed in statements made by the Lakeville police, the mainstream media and by the Star Tribune as a sympathetic figure, a father whose children were brainwashed against him by a vindictive ex-wife. Despite the volumes of evidence suggesting otherwise, we are being told to believe that the abuse allegations made against Rucki, by his own children, and his ex-wife, have no merit. Have the children really been “brainwashed” or are we the ones being “brainwashed”?
Transcripts of angry voicemail messages that Rucki left on his son’s phone in 2011 challenge the accuracy of the claims made about Rucki, that he is a victim. These transcripts provide another example of Rucki’s abuse against his children, and ex-wife Sandra Grazzini-Rucki.
You can read transcripts of the voicemail messages by clicking on this link: recorded voice mail messages
And view an excerpt of the voicemail messages, which were aired in a past episode on Fox 9: Clip of rucki voice mail shots
Excerpts from the transcript include the following statements (not in order) that David Rucki made to his son:
“What the f- is wrong with you? You know what?” (Disconnects)
Six Similar Non Verbal Sounds (The children were in fear for their life because they believed the six gun shots were meant one shot for each member of family.)
“Why are you dropping out of hockey? What is it proving to anything that you’re dropping out? You’re not hurting me. You’re going to regret it for the rest of your G–d damn f– life….”
“So good luck to you kid because um keep going down the route you’re going and you’ve got nothing going. And your mother is going to be be the blame for this. And unfortunately for you, you’re going to have so much regret in your life from what she did to you, that you will never look at things the same. I wish you would pull your head out of your ass and you’d call and talk because you need some stabilization in you…“
“And when we talk soon, you’re going to be accountable for how you’re acting. And I will not let this fly. I am your father. You will respect me.“
Sandra DID provide the actual audio of the voicemails and the transcripts to the family court, the Guardian ad Litem, the police department and therapists working with the family.
Independently, the children repeatedly made multiple statements about emotional and physical abuse to many people throughout the years of the divorce/custody proceedings until the present. One example of the children raising allegations of abuse can be found here: Sami and Gianna Rucki talk about their history of abuse at the hands of David Rucki to CPS, Police, Social Worker
The family court put its own interests ahead of what is best for the Rucki children by pushing for immediate reunification between David and the children, even forcing them to do so at the risk of their own safety.
- Public Domain: http://tinypic.com
What is Emotional Abuse?
Emotional Abuse is pattern of violent or threatening behavior directed at another person which promotes fear, obligation or guilt. Emotional abuse may also compel someone, through manipulation or coercion, to do things they would not ordinary do. Emotional abuse often accompanies, or is a part of other types of abuse (including: physical, sexual, financial, Domestic Violence by Proxy, etc).
The effects of emotional abuse are devastating to children and contributes to emotional, cognitive and social problems; as well as causing a variety of physical problems and/or contributing to illness and disease. In 2012, the American Academy of Pediatrics said that psychological maltreatment is “the most challenging and prevalent form of child abuse and neglect.” Emotional abuse is also called “mental injury” when it causes impairment to a child’s functioning.
Minnesota Department of Human Services considers “mental” injury to be a form of abuse and neglect: Mental injury – “This is harm to a child’s psychological capacity or emotional stability evidenced by an observable and substantial impairment of a child’s functioning.” What is considered abuse and neglect in Minnesota?
2015, Minn. Statute 260C.007, Subd. 15.Emotional maltreatment. “Emotional maltreatment” means the consistent, deliberate infliction of mental harm on a child by a person responsible for the child’s care, that has an observable, sustained, and adverse effect on the child’s physical, mental, or emotional development.” 2015 Minnesota Statutes
Emotional abuse or “mental injury” is considered to be a form of abuse and neglect in Minnesota, and if proven, could be ground for a family court judge to change custody and/or implement measure to protect children from further harm. Emotional maltreatment is also grounds, under Minnesota law, to take a child into protective custody.
Brainwashing or Bogus?
It is common for abusers to use their children as pawns in efforts to regain power and control over the partner who has left the relationship. By gaining control of a child, an abuser can regain access to the victim. An abuser may also inflict suffering on a former partner by taking the child from them or denying access. Many victims are also stalked, harassed, intimidated, and dragged into lengthy court proceedings (where the abuse is repeated through abuse of the legal system) by abusive ex partners. Abuse is defined by patterns of behavior to gain power and control over another. Those behaviors often continue after the end of he relationship because of the abusive mentality (common reasons abusers continue to pursue victims after they have left the relationship: the victim owes him, the victim is his property, he is not doing anything wrong, retaliation or is seeking revenge, etc.)
In this case, Sandra has been falsely accused of brainwashing her children so they would invent abuse allegations about David. It is important to note the first transcript begins with the statement that Sandra has encouraged the son to call his father. Also the children have access to cell phones and can call and receive phone calls from their father at any time. That is NOT how an alienator would behave. If anything, it shows that Sandra did make an attempt to co-parent under very difficult circumstances.
Further, these transcripts not only suggest that abuse of the Rucki children, and Sandra, has occurred but also demonstrate that it is David Rucki who is attempting to alienate the children from Sandra, and undermine their relationship with her. Many of the comments David makes in the transcript degrade Sandra, and criticize his son for having a relationship with his mother. David also tells his son about adult issues (or just lies), and attempts influence his opinion on what is happening in the custody dispute. Or influence the son’s opinion of the mother. This information is not only inappropriate for children to hear but is a common technique that abusers use to manipulate a child in order to gain an ally in their war against the other parent.
Actions and Words Speaker Louder Than Abuse Excuses
David has made statements to the media, to the Court, and professionals that he does not have an anger problem and has never abused his children. David admits that sometimes he just gets “frustrated”. Taking a closer look at the evidence, it is clear that no matter what you call David’s behavior, his actions and behavior do pose an immediate risk of harm to the Rucki children.
Court documents indicate that David was ordered in anger management classes on 3 separate occasions, and during the divorce was ordered into domestic abuse counseling. He has been charged with various OFP violations. David is also well-known for a road rage incident where he brutally assaulted another person.
(Documentation of Rucki being ordered into abuse counseling below)
- David Rucki OFP Violation deleted and removed from MNCIS by Officer Jim Dronnen, July 2011. This happened close to the time these angry voicemail messages were left by Rucki to his son. Why is Lakeville police protecting someone so dangerous?
Rucki also has a documented history of engaging in threatening behavior with a neighbor, who was so frightened that he applied for and received an OFP: (2011) Judge Knutson Orders Reunification Therapy with David Rucki and Children, while HRO in place
It seems the emotional abuse is continuing to this day; several blogs reporting on the Grazzini-Rucki case have been threatened with a civil lawsuit. David Rucki has retained an expensive attorney, and after sending a letter to the owner of the Carver County Corruption blog, it was deleted.
Who benefits if journalists and/or bloggers are too afraid to report the news, and offer facts and information to the public? Those seeking to suppress the truth benefit, at the detriment to us all.
The lives of the Rucki children – and countless other children negatively impacted by unjust family court rulings are at stake, we can not retreat in fear, and remain silent as abusive, unfit parents gain custody.
Please stay tuned, while the team at Justice 4 Grazzini Rucki Family, bunkers to report breaking news and updates on the Grazzini-Rucki case. Take a stand – please like and share our posts!
Emotional Abuse, “Out of the Fog” website for more information on emotional abuse, examples of emotional abuse , what it feels like and what not to do if you are being abused.